My promise

20 week scan

I think of you every day, every hour, every minute – and yet I have never seen your face.

You live deep within me, permeating every corner of my heart and mind – and yet I have never held you in my arms.

Excitement, joy, wonder, fear, worry – they all war inside me, competing yet complementary, and all drawing my mind back to you.

I wait, impatient, heart aching;

to see your face, to hear you cry, to witness your first breath.

I think of your first word, your first step;

I think of you meeting the world with open arms and an open mind,

soaking in all the world has to offer, with my gentle hand to guide you along the way.

Nothing has ever felt so right.

And yet, the way is littered with pitfalls, wrong turns, and all manner of dark things:

on the outside, the oft-cruel menagerie of life, merciless and apathetic;

on the inside, the piercing cries of a troubled mind, bearing down upon you with the weight of generations.

Will you be safe? Will you be happy?

Will life give you everything that I dearly hope it does?

I can make you but one promise:

I will love you, fiercely and completely.

No choice you make, no step you take, will ever break that promise.

When the sun shines, I will be there to share its rays with you;

when the rain pours, I will bring an umbrella to shelter you.

I will wrap you in an impenetrable cloak of love,

For now, and for ever.

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